You're so Frum
by Lawrence D. Weinberg (a parody to the tune of "You're so Vain" by Carly Simon

You stood at the butcher like you were standing on a holy spot
Your tichel showing less than two inches of hair
You asked if the chickens were glatt
You worried what would the neighbors think, 
if G-d forbid you'd traifed up your pots
Then Miller said that his chickens were kosher
His chickens were kosher but . . .

(chorus)
You're so frum, you probably think these chumras are for you
You're so frum, I bet you think these chumras are for you
Don't you, don't you

You became a baal teshuva years ago when you started watching what you'd eat
Now you only buy chalav yisrael
And you wait six hours after meat
You say tihilim every day
And when you see men you cross the street
You drank some tea, it was made before shabbos
Made before shabbos cause. . .
(chorus)

Well I hear you're making aliyah to get away from the goys
That you're thinking of a school for your six sons
The Binai Berak Yeshiva for Boys
Well you're learning mishna all the time and when you're not you  
Ask a long bearded Rabbi to paskin a shaila 
To paskin a shaila cause. . .
(chorus)

You probably think these chumras are torah, don't ya, don't ya